March 4th, 2026
For my entire life, the conceptual idea of gender always kind of pissed me off. (Wow, denouncing the gender bianary in 2026) i know, but its still something which has been becoming a special gripe for me in the present moment. Ever since I was younger I tried a lot of things to escape the conceptual idea of gender. I grew my hair out, just to cut it when I needed to get a job. I painted my nails, until my dad took the nail polish i bought away. Conceptually, the concepts of masculinity and feminity, at least in my opinion, completely fall apart when you look at them with anything more than a superficial lense. I want to do actions that would be considered both, and feel in ways that would make either blush.
Yet, I have locked myself in the path to fake masculinity for the rest of my life. I went to college, moved to a dorm to live with emotionally insecure straight people. I learned what the word foid meant and have heard some of the most heinous shit imaginable, usually from some guy making small talk next to me after a business class lecture.